Kylie :)

2010-09-29T20:21:00.002+08:00

i don't give a damn if you know this or not

but you suck

no, to some people, i know they think you're totally amazing,

an awesome friend, THE PERSON to be with

well, that might as well be your facade you try to con people into believing

well, newsflash:

that would be SO LAST CENTURY

anyway, i don't think we are actually classified as friends, to begin with

maybe more of acquaintance?

because half the time, i get the feeling that you're trying to stab me in my face with a plastic fork

the other half, i figured you're trying to gossip behind my back so desperately that you got it written all over that face of yours

c'mon, when you're figuring out how to flirt your ass into the "cool" crowd, despising (not even willing to give the initial look) the "not-so-cool" people

other people out there are watching you.

being that silent killer, slicing you into your inner core

talking behind your back.

yeah, so what if you're (quote) "loyal" to your friends,

people will think you're just being their dog.

i would like to emphasize that I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING against you

it's more of you to me.

i'm not guessing.

you went directly in-your-face-i-hate-your-guts-get-the-f**k-out-of-my-view to me

i'm not as clueless as you hope i would be.

i'm sorry if it burns.

strangely, you remind me of a christmas turkey.

no, don't get me wrong, i'm not like some people that discriminate people because of their size

i was thinking that you should have a bright red apple stuffed into that snotty mouth of yours,

baked till golden brown

and allow people to feed upon you helpless to their heart's desire

well, at least make yourself do something that's worth something

2010-09-26T17:11:00.003+08:00

YOU SUCK SO MUCH

STRAWS THINK YOU'RE ANNOYING

LOLLIPOPS HATE YOUR EXISTENCE

ANTEATERS HOPE YOU WERE DEAD

and i wished you never entered my life (:

2010-09-21T14:15:00.004+08:00

today is the ultimate slack day ever

i tried to study last night, but i couldn't

my mum told me to sleep on it,

that maybe today will be a better day

nah, today's actually worse

she said maybe i'm just too overwhelmed by the stress that i'm not focused

maybe, but i know that isn't the real reason

my mind is constantly being bombarded with silly and nonsensical ideas

that i thought maybe having it expressed out in words would be better

hope that i'd be able to study productively later

i don't know what i'm really expecting

but maybe i should have noticed this vicious cycle all along

that it has always been there

if it happened once, fine then,

maybe i was not to blame

but it happened, what, every single time

am i an idiot or something?

because right now, i feel like one

maybe i'm just not so good at expression and hurt every one

well then, i'm sorry

okay?

if it actually make things better

i shall try to compose a post during the span of one song

2010-09-08T12:03:00.002+08:00

(okay here goes, it's september by daughtry)

i've been wondering what life is all about

since, after only God knows how long, we're going to be urns or graves

so whats the use of fighting so hard for something when you can have it for eternity?

okay, maybe i'm just pessimistic, but it's true, isn't it?

deep down, in the deepest corner of every heart,

all this is true

of course, this is one thing i still am unwilling to believe

but believe it or not, regarding its presence or not

it is still there and nothing can change it

so, as what the speaking brothers or sister eehan said,

why not lets just fight for something eternal?

running for the race and knowing what the end goal is

because everyone needs a goal to be motivated to carry on in this course

(second round of the same song)

anyway, thats not my point

my point is

so what if we enjoy now?

will we get to enjoy this forever?

what will material comfort do to us?

how will material comfort comfort us?

in a way, it's just a temporary comfort

something that we need for only a short time

one hour? day? week? month?

but regardless how long, it's not forever

how it feels like to wait

2010-09-07T20:59:00.004+08:00

waiting is one of the worst feelings to ever experience

if waiting for a text reply is long and miserable, how about awaiting death to creep up to you?

to slowly devour your every second because who knows if you may be the next in line up the obituary.

or to wait for your loved ones to reply that damn call

i know my mum knows what i mean, she'll spam my brother and me with calls and texts that says no more than "call me" almost every single day.

serious

sometimes, waiting seems to train our sense of endurance

waiting for the things you always wanted

but other times, waiting just sucks to the core

anticipating something to happen, but it didn't, or it screwed up in the end

like how i was thinking about how i was going to enjoy pizza for dinner tonight,

but when i got home, my mum bought chicken rice (with the disgusting skin still on!)

because my brother did not want to make the phone call

he used to claim that he was a vampire.

he's more like an anti-social freak that is unwilling to talk on the phone to any other individual other than his FEMALE friends

but that doesn't bother me.

he's predictable and i like him for that (:

xinrui is always saying how she would confess to HIM but she didn't, in the end

the scenario is always the same

she chickened out at the last second, after waiting, visualizing, rehearsing the moment in her head more than a thousand times

i wonder how it feels like to confess

how it feels like as the suspense is being built up

one bit by one bit, every molecule in your body vibrating to the same thought

tell.him.the.truth.

anyways, personally, i can't stand suspense.

but, ironically, i love reading stories bound together by mystery and trailer.

three-quarter of the time, i'd just flip to the back, browse a little of the ending

after being satisfied with what i know, i' then continue my journey through the maze, secretly feeling a strange surge of elation because i know what's in stall for me at the end

one-quarter of the time, if i'm THAT bored, i'd goggle a certain movie, know the story, then watch the movie, or the other way around

i NEED to know things instantly

i can't help it

sometimes i can wait

sometimes i can't

because my imagination can take me to different places, exploring the different and absurd possibilities

so, when will i know the truth?

how deep the Father's love for us

2010-06-17T11:57:00.000+08:00

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

2010-03-30T21:28:00.002+08:00

it's been forever since i last posted a post

thats because i see no reason to do so

well, now i'm just too bored with nothing to d0

and so many things had happened over the past few months

there have been so many ups and downs like a crazy roller coaster ride

some moments i hope to reminisce, but some are better kept tucked away

now, i'm happily married to OLI, struggling to pass and do well with the giant-like subjects

probably not as happy as i hope but i hope i'd survive.

as hazel said, we're all in this together, i hope we'd all graduate with flying colors and go to the institute we've always dream about

2009-12-21T18:09:00.003+08:00

vous fera m'aime toujours demain?

school is starting soon and i'm not anticipating anything
if time could stop, i wish it'll stop now
there are just so many things to see, to know, to experience before school comes in to take over my life
maybe i'm just not ready to be a good student
to find myself achieving anything i expect
probably, i've always been leading an idealistic life
thinking of the impossible to achieve
i'm still clueless to as to what i want to be when i'm older
or what occupation i want to devote my life into
there are too many choices, but too little at the same time
life's such an irony

2009-12-13T17:44:00.007+08:00

who would have known

it's so difficult to love you

how can i bear not to look back

at those darting eyes on my every move

who would have known

how to love you just that

i'm dying to see you safe

but had to say i want you dead

who would have known

i'm loving you for you

and i'm clearly needing you

though i'm pushing you away

who would have known

that i'm really loving you

after all the pain you brought

i'm still coming back for more

who would have known

if you'd love me too

we can't predict what to say

but i'm sure God will show us the way

2009-12-13T16:29:00.005+08:00

Okay, i officially feel like a loser
i want to be a loser for God, not for myself
because we may appear to be losers in front of people but our just rewards are in heaven above
but i can't even put my human nature down to do God's will
i mean it isn't that difficult to say "JESUS LOVES YOU" right?
Jesus died on the cross for all our sins, suffering the shame, and i just can't say those three words
tessa's right, we should pray for strength and stuff
she said that i'm blaming myself too much
i don't know, i'm confused
i can't even play bejewelled blintz properly!
but i guess God will open a way
when there seems to be no way :D

tell me i'm random but i love this song

baking at jamos' house

2009-12-11T20:18:00.003+08:00

celeste, charis, kaiting, matthew, yvonne and i went to jamos' house to bake
maybe it was more of 2/5 of the time baking, 3/5 of the time playing cards

the cookies baked were awesomely delicious!
it was like the cookie with hot jam in the middle and it was nice because we all put in an effort to make it as perfect as it can be
in a nutshell, it was fantastically nice :D

as for card games, we played cheat and i've learnt to never sit opposite jamos
firstly, he can see the guilty expression on my face and immediately go "YOU CHEAT!"
secondly, he's always cheating(even on the first card) and so the flow is always stuck at where he is
lastly.. he bakes and i can't bake (i'm out of things to accuse him of)

and for yvonne, she uses this tactic where when she is cheating and someone catches her,
she'll say "you open it!" like she's daring you
when she does it, it means she cheated and most people would be afraid to, thinking that she didn't cheat because she's so confident of it
it's, i think, called reverse psychology
smart girl

so i've learnt to be more serious and not to laugh and try not to act like i'm so guilty
the end :D

2009-12-07T22:35:00.003+08:00

i can't really believe that i'm still in singapore
i really want to attend the year-end conference but i guess it's God's will, somehow

anyway, YES camp was fun, and i brought along a travel diary
however, it isn't really a diary, more like a magazine since everyone read it
but overall, camp was awesome, though i didn't really slept well
but it was cool
really awesome

2009-11-25T22:11:00.002+08:00

yes!
i'll be going to YES camp tomorrow and i still have yet to pack
oh wells, i'll wish myself luck
i think all these are so crazy..
i'm like bringing weird stuff aka travel diary and the sign language book
so much for silence is golden
anyway, i doubt my bag is huge enough to bring those clothes and books
even though i've already tried to compress the air particles between as much as i can..
oh wells, solid is incompressible

gosh!
i think i've gone nerdy, that's like chemistry and physics

anyway, i don't think i'll get to sleep tonight
my bed is flooded with stuff

2009-10-20T20:54:00.002+08:00

i don't exactly feel that the holidays are boring
it's just the i'm-stuck-at-home-doing-crap that sucks
actually no
the feeling of lazing and slacking around sucks
it's so weird, like i'm not doing anything constructive ever since the lit paper
i think i've gone nuts hating the feeling of slacking
oh, but once i get my hand on a new notebook, i won't be free anymore
:D

2009-10-19T14:33:00.005+08:00

I guess, one day, it'd all end
it's not that i want it, but it's a need to, because i can no longer go on, anymore
i should have seen this day coming, just that i did not anticipate it to come so soon
i lost everything and guitar is all i have now, i really want to hold on to it, no matter whatever happens but the road isn't getting easier
i know, because the hand that just refused to exert enough strength to press the freaking strings belongs to me
everything that i have, everything that i worked so hard for is just going down the drain again
all that i have worked so hard for..
because of the stupid nerves in my stupid hand
who cares if it's hereditary or not, it's not like anything is going to change
i might as well spend the rest of my pathetic life disabled

IN HIS TIME

2009-10-19T09:40:00.002+08:00

one
In His time, in His time,
He makes all things beautiful in His time.
LORD, please show me everyday
As You're teaching me Your way
That You do just what You say in Your time

two
In Your time, in Your time
You make all things beautiful in Your time.
LORD, my life to You i bring,
May each song i have to sing
Be to You a lovely thing in Your time

2009-10-18T22:11:00.001+08:00

i'm just so bored and tired with the old skin
maybe a change is good
and.. i don't know.. i kind of forgot everything i wanted to say

2009-09-19T21:45:00.001+08:00

i hate you
and this time, i mean it

2009-09-12T21:55:00.001+08:00

"Oh God," she cried. "Please make him appear."
she thought for a while and prayed again.
"Never mind God," she smiled, "I won't die without him. All i need is You and Your love to sustain me."

2009-09-08T22:27:00.000+08:00

i don't care if you don't help me
it's not like i'll die

2009-09-07T16:31:00.002+08:00

again, for don't know how many consecutive days i'll be having instant noodles for meal time/dinner and lunch..
saying that camp food sucks doesn't do any justice to what i'll be having, again..
i remembered telling my mum that i like instant noodles but is she giving me what i love most for almost every meal?
eww i'm starting to feel nausea when i eat them..
the aftermath is like someone is punching my stomach from inside
that bad
the one i ate for lunch kept wanting to crawl out of my stomach and it's disgusting

my mum suggested to eat out
but whats the use of eating out when i'll be eating alone again?
she just does the payment and i have to sit there like an idiot and eat
no wonder why i downgrade to half a braincell

sec three camp

2009-09-06T20:57:00.002+08:00

i've been back for two days and am still tired..

2nd sept
we reached kota tingi, malaysia with my e and amath homework..
i didn't have time to stuff them into the locker..
the tent was a major jaw dropper.. it was amazingly low..
there was gazillion and one times infinity amount of flies and ants each

wet water activities were on the first day and our first activity was jetty jump - my personal fav.. you run and jump into the water for 3 times
1- jump normally
2 - jump with oli
3 - somersault and drop.. i landed on my side
it was awesome!!!!! even though the water seemed brown-ie and stuff
then more obstacle courses
i need to have more trust in my friends and myself..
and in the end, i think i achieved that (:

plus the tents, it condenses inside..
weird eh?
4th sept
the hike
the crazily insanely long and tiring and murderous hike
but the Maggie-mee cooked on the mountain with sausages and baked beans were awesome!!
i never thought Maggie-mee and baked beans could actually go well with each other.. or maybe like my bro said, i was hungry after a long walk/climb
after lunch, we had to climb this rock wall.. something like rock climbing just not as safe..
i was thinking how was i going to climb down that thing but still proceeded up at around 2-3 pm..
and we descended at around 6.55 to 7.15 pm?
plus, i was sick.. headache due to the pressure i think..
and every other joint and muscle ached like crazy..
and i can't give up, though i kept saying i can't do it anymore
what can i do? camp on the mountain with leeches and giant ants? NOPE
so i prayed in my heart for God to give me the strength to carry on..
praise the LORD, i made it down, the next day..

4th sept
packed bags and went home..
NO MORE CONDENSED TENTS
NO MORE SQUEEZY PLATFORMS
NO MORE INSECTS, SPIDERS AND LEECHES
had lunch and bathed at tes' house before cutting my hair..

i would like to thank all my friends that helped me along..
rachel, sharon and amariah that kept going "jia you"
the boys and gb girls that helped us with the backpacks
sharmie that taught me how to slide down huge rocks..
** plus she crossed her heart and told me that she'd catch me when i fall, or i made her cross her heart but the promise was kind of on her own accord..
janelle whom held on to my hand when i needed her there..
and the many many instructors and teachers that were there along the way.. (:

2009-08-18T20:44:00.003+08:00

congratulate me for my very first underline in my report book..
amath sucks
plus i got the lowest in class for english..
it just wasn't fair, it wasn't at all..
of course, if i hadn't done the extra draft, which i'm so used to doing, i would've scored higher
but it was not that that was unfair..
it's just that it's so unfair..
i can't exactly type it out here and be a totally ass and tell on that person..
the teacher allowed it, but i couldn't just let it in..
sure, she has been smart, always
but this was definitely cheating and now she's the goody student that listens to the teacher and i'm the bad student that won't heed advices..
fine! sue me
at least i had the integrity to stop writing when the time's up..
at least i know where i went wrong, i'll just learn from my mistake.. through the hard and rock road..
i'm not pissed at her, i'm just pissed at myself.. pissed that i couldn't do any better.. pissed that i am so so so stupid..
hmph whatever

today after drama, tessa shawn anis and i went to mac
after anis left, the three of us started talking about really random stuff
more of shawn's unofficial ex-girlfriend..
he doesn't even know if they broke up or not
and then he started going about texting so much that his unlimited sms was not able to work anymore, or something like that..
then, i was sipping on the melted ice in my cup and when i heard it, i kind of spitted it out in that really dramatic way..
and as i was facing shawn, part of it went on him..
the funny thing was that he said he's used to it..
i mean who gets used to being spit on? oh yeah, shawn..
and another thing was that i've been trying to do it on purpose, learning it from my bro so it'll come out in vapour like droplets and was never able to do it..
then, not on purpose, i did it..
it was like really really cool..
and even though i kinda apologised for it, i was laughing..
but i was serious about the sorry thing

2009-08-16T19:14:00.002+08:00

yes!
i managed to clean the toilet faster than the brothers!!!!!
of course, they were too dumb to know, i received help..
according to tessa, that was cheating
but so? it was still way faster..
in fact, it was so fast, they didn't believe!
and the brothers seemed somewhat afraid of entering the female toilet?
hmm

2009-08-09T22:58:00.002+08:00

life seems so lifeless and empty, when it starts to get meaningful, some other things juts rob the memories away..
just when somethings lift us up, other make us sink deeper than the ocean bed..
and when you thought everything was too good to be true, that everything was going according to plan, just when you start to take things for granted, everything goes and disappears..
it's like holding on to the thread of life, it just might break anytime

when a harmless word makes you tear,
a hopeless question suffocates you
a meaningless answer kills you
you know it's just the beginning of an end

sometimes i feel like going to the extreme because things just seemed so ridiculous and stupid
plus, no one understands..
it's the circumstances in life that drives people to the extreme
it wasn't just any one's fault to begin with

2009-07-26T22:38:00.000+08:00

Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them;
For the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you,
He will not leave you nor forsake you"

to to list

2009-07-24T22:52:00.002+08:00

things done:
-half my physics homework
-half my english worksheet
-have my heart prepared to receive my just-fail-by-a-few-marks-due-to-careless-mistakes amath paper
-surviving a screwed up life

things undone:
-half my physics homework
-ESPOIR (screw it)
-all the other homework (eg ss)
-revision on CHEMICAL CALCULATIONS and maybe everything of amath
-stop sharmala from having hallucinations of me doing something (it's just sick and wrong :p)
-change this blogskin
-die before O levels

things half done:
-learn/master hymn 762 (shuts!)

2009-07-23T22:15:00.000+08:00

screw espoir
i give up

2009-07-20T21:18:00.000+08:00

i don't care if you don't

2009-07-16T21:10:00.002+08:00

yes it's over and yes it sucks..
okay, it isn't like the so-called "cold topic"
it was one of the topics lao shi "caught" for us..
third language????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but who would have thought that it would come out?
we were all praying, wishing that it was something to do with the environment, 师生恋 or 亲子关系..
i mean, that third language thing was so random!
basically, i was crapping all the way..
i think laoshi told us to do so, if we're out of things to say..
so i heed his advice(:

i keep repeating my points.. half the time was made up of "uhs", i doubt they count it as english?
my mind was not only filled with points to say, it was also filled with "shuts, i'm so dead"

before our turn(as in the people from my class' turn), we ask xinrui to help us..
we say that if it's easy, she'll take out her specs, if it's difficult, she'll touch her hair..
it turned out that she took out her specs and rubbed her face, put in back on, smiled at us, and continue her staring time at dedede..

so it was easy for her..
duh, nothing much was ever difficult for xinrui..

anyway, i didn't study for chem retest..
or studied a little but felt that none of it made much sense..
WHO CARES ABOUT PERCENTAGE PURITY??!!
okay, we are all supposed to, but for crying out loud, it still doesn't make sense..
so, i'm going to get a big fat zero for chem retest today
and another one for lit tomorrow..

great, just the thing i need

2009-07-10T21:41:00.002+08:00

this is insane..
chinese oral is 16-10= 6 more days!!!!!!!!!! and i'm so not ready
my pronunciations are not clear, and it's getting on my nerves..
some phrases or words are just too difficult to read/remember..
i know my chinese sucks but i really have to practise for oral..
it's like 40 marks?!
and i get super freaked out especially reading chinese to 2 people i have not met before..
and part of my grades were depending on them..
maybe if i smile harder, they'll give me higher grades..
or just think i'm an idiot.. as usual :p

what if i lose my voice?
or said something weird/offensive?
or kicked one of the examiner's leg?
or push the table so hard they felt the impact on their own tables and fell back on there backs?
or i was too soft cause i freaked out?
or i said something in english my accident?
or.......

why am i scaring the wits out of myself?
i'll relax..
and panic 6 days later!!!!!!!!!!

i know you're avoiding me..
but i just wish you were near

2009-07-06T20:30:00.001+08:00

ahh..
i forgot all about my geog test tomorrow..
and i am definitely not done with all my homework..
arrgh
i don't want to go back to school..

2009-07-05T20:06:00.002+08:00

it's seriously horrible..
every morning, when i wake up, i have to remind myself to look forward instead of being trapped in the past..
it isn't so bad being trapped in the past, but if so, everything else would go on and..
i will be lagging behind..
not knowing that i'm standing way before the starting line..
i don't know if i tried to walk on or to stay where i am..
cause obviously i rather stay where i am than to walk on..
things that past are better because we all don't know what is going to appear before us..
and the more we try to make the future better, the worse it becomes..
well, it's that way for me
maybe it's time to let go of the past..
and embrace the.. present

2009-07-03T21:02:00.003+08:00

arrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
h1n1 is stupid..
if there isn't this stupid virus, the school won't want us to waste valuable time on whatever project to reduce the likelihood of transmission..
hello??!!
like what we suggest can actually help singapore to be "H1N1-FREE"
it still won't be..
and it spreads so darn it easily..
so what if prevention is better than cure..
just lock yourself in the room and nothing will happen..
WHATEVER SWINE FLU OR H1N1 WILL NOT TOUCH YOU..
and how is english related to h1n1 or vice versa?
this is stupid..
i can find just so many excuses to excuse myself from this stupid thing..
but then again, it's graded

i am the worst friend ever..
how can i be so stupid?

first day of school

2009-06-29T20:20:00.003+08:00

i closed me eyes and thought of the days
that seemed to fly so fast
i turned my heart to face the days
with strength to carry on
cause i know it would be hard to go on
and i just want to grasp it in my all

cause i want to keep
all the memories within
all the trails i've been
just keep pushing on
and when i look up
into the heavens above
it's smiling to me and say
just keep pushing on

today's just the first day of school and my mind is giving me excuses why i should continue sleeping..
my alarm was set an hour later, the lift was too full to contain another person, i definitely missed my bus, and the first day just seem to be the start of another stressful period

there was just this mixed feelings i had last night, the mental breakdown thing..
well, it wasn't as bad for me cause i prayed and i had a worse experience before
but celeste was feeling down and empty.. the way i felt after conference and it was seriously terrible..
the feeling of emptiness and not wanting to do anything and slack around overwhelmed her as it did to me just some weeks ago..

basically, i passed the days by trying to distract myself from thinking so much so i watched the lamest tv programs, played guitar till my fingers hurt, played piano till my left hand just slipped off the keyboard, snacked alot and yeah of course, cry
and yeah, i don't want to sound like a stupid baby that cries everyday..
so i prayed..
God really helped me because i felt better as the days went by..

and as i browsing through the youth hymnal, this part of this particular hymn caught my eye
"You can whisper in a crowd to Him
You can cry when you're alone to Him
You don't have to pray out loud to Him
He knows your thoughts.."

it's really encouraging..

2009-06-24T20:24:00.001+08:00

hot car (1)
tes spotted this car first because i was thinking of open top convertible instead of this..
but this is really.. hot
really feel like keeping it for myself instead..
i still have around.. 2 weeks to decide who the car model goes to..

2009-06-19T22:17:00.002+08:00

how can anyone be so..
lets put it this way
heartless???!!!
like it was just a friendly gesture.. a harmless friendly gesture a friendly friend would give and it shouldn't be turn off by some stupid reply like "what?!"
and it wasn't even spelt correctly..
show some love, i mean come on..
it was like so cold?
even if it does not concern you one small bit but a nice reply would mean the whole world to someone
how can someone/anyone just disregard a friend like this? huh?
i mean even if you don't have the slightest interest, just pretend?
or just say it nicely not cruelly..
it really hurts okay?!

you chose not to voice out your opinions when you were asked..
now at this crucial time you just blast at her face
you think this is funny?
yes, maybe no!
maybe one day you should have a taste of your own medicine..

kaiting's belated birthday trip

2009-06-15T21:41:00.001+08:00

today kaiting, celeste, charis, jamos, john, kaien, tessa and i went to the mint museum to look at..
well toys..
it's really cool and i took some pictures..
but i guess i'll put it on facebook instead..
but it was really fun, we took many pictures and later, without celeste and charis, we went to the rooftop of esplanade
also took many pictures..(:
altogether, it was an amazing outing:D

children's camp 2009 - living for Jesus

2009-06-13T11:59:00.012+08:00

My very first time serving in children's camp and it was way awesome..

10th
we went to church for cleaning up and stuff..we did the cutting of paper for the names, putting it inside the paper into the card holders, sweeping and mopping the floor..
I'm in the upper primary group CONCERN with darren and both of us were the first time serving..
this is my name tag! proud to be a Concern Youth Helper!!

11th
woke up at 7am and thought someone broke the fire alarm..
nope, it was esther's alarm ring tone..
and this is my crumpled timetable.. it never left my pocket unless i need to use it(:

the children in my group (upper primary) are very shy..
they include:
wen bin
nicole
isabelle
esther
raferty
yixuan
jeremiel
bryan
i talked to who, who ignored me
at first..
then they talked..
like Nicole, she's naturally very shy..
and she has alot of cousins, like in almost every group (upper and lower primary) she has at least a relative inside..

I was one of the behind back up for praise and worship until ern xu retreated and stood behind me.. he was supposed to stay in front..
anyway, we sang my all-time favourite song - HE'S ABLE!!
but we kept repeating 'i wanna be' and it was very(not boring) just really uh.. long..
i thought of some random actions the night before and tessa wanted to do it..
but it was seriously random, so we didn't..

oh did i mention we were supposed to make our own lunch?
yeah the children were, youth helpers HELP.. thats what we're for..
but since eeliang and i weren't attached to any groups, we just hopped around, making sushi/hand roll..
i made about 6, i ate 2 of them.. the rest went into ... ... ...
but well, it was sure delicious(:
then we made Water Dumplings(水饺)..
my first one was a ball-dumpling..
because the initial state of the dough was rectangle and not a circle..
my second one was the best.. the third was.. not as a disaster as the first..
so i was eagerly hoping to get my ball-dumpling (which was artistically made- contributed by Jiamin) but i never got it!
it went into someone else's tummy):
well, i wasn't going to eat mine anyway, it was for ... ... ...

the upper primary did a skit about Sowing and Reaping..
it was quite cool..
i was the 'fast runner' aka 'the work horse'???!!!

during case study, dawn was asking us what our big rocks were..
then she prayed for me, too, that I WOULD HAVE MORE TIME TO DO MY HOMEWORK SO I WON'T COPY :P

we slept at around 12 plus after cleaning up, supper and doing MATH!!!! all my math homework are done!

12th (the last day)
we went to the Dragonfruit farm..
i sat with christabel on the bus and this was the awesome picture i took.. okay not very but it's nice(:
i didn't take pictures of any dradonfruits but i did take pineapples(:
i have no idea what this is, but since it's nice, i just took a picture of it
it was really hot there but i had fun disturbing tessa with the creepy crawlies that were around..
the dargonfruit drink was refreshing too!

we had games after lunch in church..
we did 3 stations - the newspaper one, the borades(how you spell it?), and the one in the fourth floor extension hall.. we left out one cause there wasn't time, thanks to RESPECT who took up alot of time in the Borades station.
but so what?!
CONCERN is the overall winner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
three cheers to us, million cheers to God!!

still trying to make Nicole do the actions at the last PRAISE AND WORSHIP session..
but nevermind, at least our group bonded..
i think i don't really dislike jeremiel after all..
he seems like a really nice kid now..

after the cleaning up, we were all really really tired..
but it was as amazing experience..

i think i'm starting to miss camp..

i learned how to serve by faith
trust in the LORD ALWAYS (literally)
to be careful with what i say

2009-06-08T20:01:00.002+08:00

one moment i feel better today
the next, i feel worse
and it stayed that way
i seriously don't know why i am feeling this way
i just don't feel like doing anything
or even if i did, i am easily distracted
i have no idea whats wrong with me
maybe i never felt right just that i was insensitive to it
i just have to pray and have faith in Him who is able to take my burden away
i just pray He'll heal the broken-hearted like He promised in "He's Able"
i also pray for peace..

thinking of which, the things that will be taught in children's camp can actually apply to our own lives

2009-06-07T22:55:00.004+08:00

i just can't take it anymore..
i really can't..
i just wish i can just faint and die and meet God right away..
i just have to.. i just have to make everything perfect..
why? i try to tell myself over and over, but why can't i get it out of my head?
everyone seems numb to the feeling..
why? i don't want this to happen..
it just hurts so much..
it is suppose be to encouraging..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU KYLIE KAY???!!!
i.. i don't want to be weak anymore..
i just can't take it, anymore......................................

conference - SERVE BY FAITH

2009-06-07T20:07:00.008+08:00

i seriously don't know where to start..
this conference really had many surprises installed and it was seriously unexpected..
~the fellowship thing
~the regret-to-tears thing
~the screaming-to-drive-brother-alvin-mad (literally) thing
~dorcas and grace's room thing
~the SPAM song
and many more..

i have to admit..
the conference (at first) was VERY DRY..
i just took notes ( i had no idea what was i copying), and i knew something was definitely wrong..
cause everyone said that conference is better than YES camp..
but i felt that it was, well, dryer..
so well, found sister eehan, and celeste had a similar problem.. so we fellowship, prayed with our knees to the floor, and i prayed that if God wants me to call a hymn or pray, he'll make the whole hall silence for a while..
God really answer prayers, cause it happened..
i was literally freaking out and words seemed to be stuck at my throat..
how hard i try to push it out, it still is stuck..
and during the break, i was praying and praying until i started to tear..
end of prayer, i covered my face with my hands (thank God i didn't tie my hair)
but sis eehan caught me and we started talking and prayed..
YES, i made her cry!! (okay tear/sob whatever)
so later i managed to pray, PRAISE THE LORD, and tessa too, and celeste..
and MARY WAS TOUCHED!!!! haha..

okay screaming thing..
for the past few days, the nice guy ferrying us (jamos, matthew, samuel, tessa and i) was brother alwin..
all the while, even in group fellowship, samuel was a guy with NO words and the rest of us were playing(most of the time) even in the car, he would just shut up and jamos, matthew, tessa and i would just talking and yank and blabber much rubbish..

on friday, our last night staying in GARDEN HOTEL (aka LKK hotel), matthew, as usual was spamming the happy tree friends song and the uncle f**ka song and we started screaming(to scare samuel, but instead, he laughed along - mission failed)..
so we decided to scare broher alvin instead..
many people who passed his car, including sister eehan and brother bernade, just saw our teeth and saw us bouncing like mad.. they can't hear anything happening inside, at all so they didn't suspect anything..
**it so happen when we stop laughing (out of breath), the funny part comes up
so went we left the gate, matt played the song and we started to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha he asked us to stop before an accident happen..
so i made a quick prayer, asking God to bless us as we 'sing'..

OH! dorcas and grace' room thing..
FREAKY!
grace saw something white walking to mary and celeste's room..
we prayed for faith, for strength and on our way to the room, we kept repeating the verse 2 Tim 1:7 and 'He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world' from 1 John 4:4..
we really really prayed alot.. for peace in our hearts, for celeste, dorcas, grace and mary who slept in d and g's room as "the thing walked to c and m's room"
that night was the night i slept the best! tessa was singing me to sleep and we overslept, causing the sisters from our group to be left outside for more than 3 minutes, knocking on the door..
anyway, God really gave us peace..

well, the spam song was for meng seng who couldn't stop spam calling grace and tessa..
but the song is hilarious..

and charis' "lecture"..
it was equally hilarious..

timetable :P

GROUP THREE!!!!!! HAPPY TREE FRIENDS

my awesome roommate!!! due to miscommunication, kt didn't manage to sleep over ):

melissa offered to help me copy some notes(:

my not-so-perfect speech..

i must learn to be not so perfect..
perfect speech, perfect prayer, perfect way of calling a hymn.. wow..

Your only son, no sin to hide
But You have sent Him, from your side
To walk upon this guilty sod
And to be called the lamb of God

Trust and Obey
For there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus
Is to Trust and Obey

Make me a servant, humble and meek
LORD, let me lift up those who are weak
And may the prayer of my heart always be:
Make me a servant, make me a servant
Make me a servant today

there are other songs i really enjoyed but i just can't remember what it was.. anyway, conference was awesome!!!!!

fyi, mary and celeste's room has an awesome view of the interior of the hotel

2009-05-19T23:04:00.002+08:00

Finally the common tests are over..
Today darryl, sharmala, tessa and i went over to oli's house to help her to pack her stuff..
instead, we were playing and sharmie and i were dancing to "Can I Have This Dance" by hsm3
it was so hilarious..
then we celebrated tessa's birthday..
when it's like in september??!!

oh i can't wait for conference and camp..
i'm like rotting every since the common tests were over! whoot!

2009-04-26T16:15:00.003+08:00

all my hopes have been dashed and when i close my eyes, a sea of green floods my mind

i have no idea why would anyone want older siblings, especially brothers..
isn't it better if you're the only child?
at least there is privacy..

because my bro is such an ass..
he threw away all my hairbands (how am i suppose to go to school with my hair tied tomorrow?!) and the embroidery threads..
he's like so bloody extra..
can't he do anything without touching my stuff?
i don't go around touching his things, think it's rubbish and throw it away
the worst thing is that he doesn't admit doing it..
if he doesn't have the bloody guts to admit throwing my stuff away, then he shouldn't even have touched them in the first place
it's the same as him making this girl pregnant and say it wasn't his fault
killing someone and say he didn't lay his bloody hands on them
can't he be less obvious that he's guilty..

and now he doesn't even allow me to use msn cause he wants to use it..
what an idiot..

the earth is bronze

2009-04-22T20:09:00.002+08:00

i guess half the school knows the drama results now..
miss wong is right, there isn't nothing to be ashamed of..
i guess we're just... feeling that we didn't do our best.. ashamed of ourselves?
we were all really sad as we didn't get what we expected but later i felt better after what miss wong said..
weird but true.. we had a little fun here and there and stuff..
i can still remember the making of the lighting board..
sunxin and peishi really had a hard time trying to make the hole on the lightboard bigger..
i believe/hope that they would treasure the moments we spent together as well as i did..
i mean those silly times we had calling cues moving the silly 'sliders'..
i guess i haven't exactly been really nice to them..

oh wells, have debate research to do..
it's so.. irritating..

2009-04-20T18:18:00.002+08:00

it's just so tiring..
i've been trying my very best but it seems that it isn't..
i have been stagnant for the past few weeks and it's infuriating
i must progress.. if not i'll be travelling backwards..
i just don't get it.. if others can, why can't i?
okay that shall be my motivational quote..
but it's so lame

okay i can survive 6 days..
what is 6 days to me when i survived 13 days..
i can do it..

tomorrow's clara sim's birthday!!!!!!!!!!
omj only if she's in singapore..

2009-04-09T21:20:00.003+08:00

i feel better after seeing the doctor last night..
but didn't feel that well..

Drama was cool..
well, the first part was docorating of the closets
then talk, exchange lame jokes with nicole and talk more..
full run with teachers and xinrui looking..
it was totally stressful and i felt that i'm really mean to sunxin and peishi because i was really frustrated with myself for not getting the cues done on time..
i know i shouldn't vent my anger on them.. i feel so horrible now everytime after we were done with the 35th cue..

i feel so bad.. i promised to watch this movie with suen today..

but i didn't know that i'll be sick..

and that drama would end so late..

bummer..

luckily, i can make it up for her on either saturday or monday!!

i didn't know that amirah's a huge fan of nick jonas..

she was so sad she can't "touch" them today..

2009-04-07T21:25:00.002+08:00

ah..
my nose, throat and head hurt..
maybe because of the stress i'm constantly giving myself..
i mustn't screw up..
i didn't i didn't exactly recover from the flu i had the other time..
oh wells..
don't fell like going to school tomorrow..
anyway, i'm currently running a mild fever so.. i hope i don't have to go tomorrow!!

old

2009-03-24T21:23:00.008+08:00

(1) (2) (3)

(4) (5)

(1) take it easy - by suen, it's a yellow shirt with white dots on it!

(2) Dear kylie - by tessa, it says:

"Dear Kylie,

it's your birthday again! And this year, you're 15. so cheers to your wonderful presence and out 9 (almost 10!) years of Friendship. Have a nice one this year. And even though we always quarrel, I still *heart*

God bless you always."

By the real bimbo herself.. *sobs* this is too touching..

(3) scrapbook page - i never thought that tes would really make one for me! she said herself that she'd forget

(4) birthday card - by huiting..

that reminds me that darren's drawing is really awesome.. he drew me something last year and this year too!! nice card

(5) chocolates - by huiting too!!! it's really cool cause yong suggested to get it for me.. cause i' sweet! haha

and the notebook oli and nurul gave me, it's very lovely!!!!!!!

the lion and tiger celeste got was wayyyyyyyyyy adorable(:(:(:

jiahui and weilin handmade stars made me wish i was more artistically incline:P

fengrui's gift was a surprise cause... it's so unlike him..

that reminds me that xinrui's dog hasn't seen daylights yet!!!

and all the birthday greetings!!! they melted my heart!!(:

love you guys!!!!!

thanks to:

~my ex-classmates!!(: (2 peace)

~my current classmates!!(: (3 truth)

~my drama-mates!!(:

~all my friends!!(:

thanks for making my day rock!!!!

btw, i feel old.. thanks to sharmala and suen..

and sharmala was so nice, she literally spoon-fed me my lunch!

fifteen!!!(:

2009-03-23T17:15:00.002+08:00

(1) (2)

(3) (4)

(1) contributed by jared and fengrui

(2) (3) contributed by xinrui the pervert!!

(4) contributed by celeste(:(:(:

haven't open the presents yet..

"You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
Its the morning of your very first day
you say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybodys way
its your freshman year and you're gonna be here
for the next four years in this town
hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
you know I haven't seen you around, before

Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
you're gonna believe them
and when you're fifteen
feeling like there nothing to figure out
well count to ten, take it in
this is life before who youre gonna be
fifteen

You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail
and soon enough you're best friends
laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool
well be out of here as soon as we can
and then you're on your very first date and hes got a car
and you're feeling like flying
and you're momas waiting up and you think hes the one
and you're dancing round your room when the night end
when the night ends

Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tell you they love you
you're gonna believe them
when you're fifteen and your first kiss
makes your head spin round but
in your life you'll do greater than dating the boy on the football team
but I didn't know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted
wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
but I realized some bigger dreams of mine

and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
who changed his mind and we both cried

Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
you're gonna believe them
and when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall
Ive found that time can heal most anything
and you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

La la la la la .. la la la la la . La la la la la

Your very first day
take a deep breath girl
take a deep breath as you walk through those doors."
fifteen by taylor swift

Happy birthday to ALL MARCH BABIES!!
and there's alot of them!!

2009-03-19T22:30:00.003+08:00

words aren't meant to hurt
but just pray..
cause the LORD is always there for you.. waiting to help you in times of need..
just remember.. He's always there..

the siren

2009-03-18T21:22:00.003+08:00

Today went out with Little Miss Bimbo again..
but today i was late..
because we were doing compo.. my homework, the chinese compo..

So saw samuel at BK and he helped me with the thing..
according to tes, he helped drama TWICE!
so tes and i just sat there, spend our time insulting each other..
and tes zilian-ing.. haha she love raffles city cause there are mirrors EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!
total nightmare for me, a heaven for her..
then we went to harvey norman to get an empty disk and stopped by cocoa tree to get chocolates.. tes' treat, again!!
we took a little walk around the huge outlet.. many minutes passed..
so we agreed to tell samuel that we got in trouble for walking out without paying and they were looking at tes with that weird look cause of her tattoo.. plus they were giving us a hard time..
but in the end she blabber everything - guilty conscience!!
asked him who is he going to take to prom..
this was the convo taken from tes' blog:
"Haha, laughed until I almost passed out at Burger King.
Kylie: Who are you taking to prom? I’m taking Tessa.
Me and SSWJ: ==! "

funniest thing:

instead of biting the chocolate into half, samuel just dump the whole big thing in his mouth and he just act like nothing happened..
so we stared at him and saw that the chocolate wrapper was lying there.. with no chocolate inside..
haha he looked hilarious and said afterwards that the chocolate was too hard to bite.. but i managed to bite it.. haha.. it seriously looked hilarious but too bad tes didn't capture it on film..

after he left, tes dragged me for more photo-taking..
walked in and out of shops and took many photos..
finally we settled down for dinner..
button mushroom and chicken bamboo rice..
shared with tes that and she told me something :O

walked along city link and went into my fave : FLASH N SPLASH!!!!!
and new urban man.. both outlets..
and all tes could say was "JIALE"
bought more chocolate from 7-11 and talked and talked and talked until 8 plus

amazing discovery: samuel has bloodshot eyes.. freaky

confessions from my sneakers

2009-03-17T22:31:00.007+08:00

Met the REAL bimbo at plaza sing to look for the right wallet for me.. and MORE makeup for her..

i thought i would be late, or punctual, but i was early!

and tes got lost in singapore, like are you kidding??!! no.. she really got lost..

haha it's like a routine, we get to plaza, get chocolates from cocoa tree, her treat, as usual..

we walked straight into flash'n'splash and i dashed straight to the paul frank wallet..

sadly it doesn't look as appealing as it did last year, the first time it caught my eye..

sigh, but at least tes saw something she actually liked..

the emily strange wallets were on 50% discount, or everything that belongs to emily the strange and sufer girl is on 50% discount..

we walked around and tes took many pictures..

we ate dim sum (part of the routine) and she ordered the same old thing, i got something new(:

after that, instead of walking around to ice monster like before, we just walked past the flower pot of fake flowers..

our favourite shop had to be FLASH N SPLASH..

we spent almost 1/2 the time there..

it was awesome..

we took the train and tes can't help but to take ZL pics, totally oblivion to the weird stares we got from weirdos around us, bet we were the weirdos in the train instead..

blah!

the test sucks..

i can't even do it!

i guess it's going to be worse than the previous one where i scored 5/50..

P- pathetic..

P.S. BENEDICT THINKS EMMANUAL IS CUTE BUT IS UNWILLING TO ADMIT IT(:

2009-03-16T19:31:00.004+08:00

blah!
woke up early in the morning at 10 cause my bro and my mum were making a huge fuss
lunch was at IKEA.. meatballs and potatoes rocks!!!!!!!!!
then went around sitting on different sofas to try out..
my bro and i found this super comfortable sofa but seems like my mum isn't really interested..

went to singapore poly..
it was pretty crowded..
my bro asked me to hold on to his laptop back and once we stepped out of the hall thingy, everyone just rush towards me, asking what course am i taking, am i interested in the freshmen camp..
duh no.. i'm not even in their school..
his new laptop is black, and totally cool..
but it was the laptop's fault that we spend most of the time on it..
buy collect it, buy insurance(in case of fire haha), configure some school stuff..
and he said that my brain grew..
yay! i'm getting smarter!(:

arrgh..
not a homework done for today, and will be tomorrow..
the school holidays are practically pack with classes and tuition, like total insanity..
and the stupid elearning kept rejecting my access!

2009-03-15T22:01:00.002+08:00

OMJ!
sometimes i still can't believe this is happening.. but it is..
sobs.. but at least celeste came out with a decision, i should be happy.. for her..
she doesn't want her mum to worry, to be sad..
maybe that's the supposedly right choice..
nvm.. just leave everything to God..
He'll tell her what to do..
fast, i hope..

2009-03-13T20:52:00.002+08:00

YES!
i'm done recording the voice-over for boogeyman!!!
it's the holidays..
i'm done reading to kill a mocking bird! yay.. next: marley and me(:
but there are tons of homework to do..

then there's jamos party thing.. then eileen's birthday..
ahh.. why are there so many people born in the month of march?!

vandalism

2009-03-11T21:41:00.000+08:00

another piece of "art-work" but it's by su-lyn this time..
i'm like a canvass so i casually said that i'm her canvass but she took it seriously so it's there on my right arm..
eileen's right..
everyone is slowly poisoning me to my death!

2009-03-09T20:47:00.000+08:00

the first picture is my hand that says "THESSA'S DOG"

and the second is thessa's hand that reads "Kylie's property The Cat meow!"

blah.. was pure bordem..

life is boring sigh

i can't wait for saturday

2009-03-08T20:47:00.004+08:00

Today i missed the bus!!!!

arrgh so was late then had to sit behind..

it was kinda the worse sunday Lord's table meeting i ever had..

after that, i went home to shower then met celeste to study..

she had mocha and i had caramel, both with whipped cream - fattening!

so at first we were concentrating on our homework until i guess i started to crap about crappy stuff..

then we did 3 'graphs' from big to bigger to biggest but the main plottings were all in the centre..

the most-negative point is -0.5 while thw most-positive point is 1.25..

that shows how bad it is..

highest record is 4 points on (0,0)..

we also did a timeline of our encounter..

like when did we before so close..

oh so random

2009-03-07T11:00:00.000+08:00

smile harder people!

what is olivia doing??!!

self-denfence 101.. tessa tried to kiss me!

suen sitting there taking random pics

personality check

2009-03-07T10:12:00.002+08:00

IT is very ironic..
my top personalities, which happens to be of the same height, are I and S..
and it so happens to be contradicting each other..
and my sub-personality is D..
but i'm more like C than D..
I'm extremely calculative, i do extra work (as in i redo my homework many times till it's perfect),
i can't stand things being unbalanced, and i like things to be perfect..
weird huh..

besides i passed my A MATH TEST!!!!!!!!!!
yes! and am going to fail my e math!
cause i used the same method to +, x, /, - for indies and i think i know i'm not suppose to do it..

2009-03-01T17:02:00.002+08:00

it's raining really heavily..
gosh..
i don't want school to start again..
i haven't played enough yet..
haven't enjoy enough yet!!!
arrgh..
the weekends are too short..
it should be longer..

random

2009-02-27T20:37:00.004+08:00

Random pictures that i took during tuition..

the badge i love to play with..

my 7-up can (:

jiongle's blurred pic

clearer pic of him..

today i stayed back to do chinese with tessa and andy and leon came along..

i have to admit that their chinese is.. better than mine..

it as nice scaring andy with that sec one girl but i think that we went a little too over board..

the famous last words

2009-02-23T17:26:00.002+08:00

life is boring..
that'll be mine..
i can't do anything right..
i'm about to fail my ss test, thought molecule and compound were the same thing, don't see the difference between an atom and an element, still thinking that my lit teacher is a L-loser..

i am such a loser..
and still being laugh at for my chinese.. ironic

2009-02-20T22:02:00.002+08:00

things to do:
Do voice-over (boogeyman) by MONDAY, if not clara will kill me
Study for SS test
Study for Geog test
Revise physics
Revise chem
Read more (ENGLISH & CHINESE)
Do newspaper cut-out

so much to do, so little time

2009-02-15T19:08:00.002+08:00

Today was our turn to clean the church and our batch was in-charge of the 3rd level..
I didn't want to do the toilet cause i would have to take out my shoe and socks but still did it in the end.. There's only the three of us girls..
it was fun.
Later we mob the corridor and the main hall..
Sad thing i fell.. on my butt.. guess the floor was too slippery
Happy things tessa took over and i could damage every one's ear drums with my horrible piano playing..
Stupid eeliang said i wasn't doing anything, like he did many things..
he and 3 other brothers were playing hockey in the toilet..

Xingyi managed to convince mary to follow us to the road junction.. then we walked to the train station..
Xingyi and i sat at the city hall station for i don't know how long, seeing all the trains passing by and just talk and talk and talk..
We finally took the train but alighted at the next stop then board the next train..
it's pretty lame but we still did it..
we took the train all the way to pasir ris then took back to eunos where both of us alighted..
when we tapped our cards, it says "overstayed" and had to pay $2..
we stayed in since 1.30 till about 3 going on 4 o'clock??
So what did we learn?
If you want to talk, get out of the station, talk all you want then go home..

2009-02-13T21:20:00.004+08:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..
busy week..
i'm so behind time for physics and a math..
suddenly i don't really feel like going to the other class..
it'll be slower and the examples will be lesser..
HUH?! then what exactly is the whole point??!! pretty stupid but true..
she should go slower, give more examples and explain more..
uh. stupid..

i can't really remember what happen this week..
just know i never studied so hard for a test before..
sigh.. i'm going to fail anyways..
it's the same for e math test, after the test, thought for a while, then know how to do the questions..
maybe the questions are really common sense..

today jiongle is being so stupid..
he didn't realise that tomorrow is valentine's..
then he was like "sorry la.. didn't get you a present"
that reminds me.. i got the v.day treats in my fridge..

the new WOman!! (:

2009-02-07T22:53:00.003+08:00

getting into the water and people praying for me

people praying for me, me submerge in water

OH YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Today's baptism was way cool!!!!!!!

It was just TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!!!

I was really nervous the whole day and my hands turned cold before going into the water (charis' my witness!!)

charis was very nervous too.. haha

i met a new friend, she's pearlyn and she's 17, just had 'O's.. like my bro..

What i like/love about baptism?

~The feeling when the water was rushing pass my face
~the coldness i felt in the water

the moment when i was fully submerged into the water

~But i LOVE it when i know that my Saviousdied on the cross for all of us and buried with me in the water

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know if my shirt went up when i leaned back but when i was coming out of the water, my shirt came up but i guessed no one saw..

haha

i was like freezing in the toilet then the water i was bathing in was cold..

haha so i was like jumping in the toilet..

later had hot milo and it was nice.. haha

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-06T21:36:00.001+08:00

getting baptize tomorrow..
I'm so nervous..
but still troubled all week..
don't know what..

2009-02-06T20:22:00.003+08:00

"Hiding behind the smile, it's not that difficult"

Why are you doing this to me? you always wanted everything to go fine between us but now you're lying to me, through your teeth..

I know i expect everything to be perfect but i didn't pressurise you, i don't need you to follow my perception of "perfect", i just everything to go fine for us, just like you..

I'm not implying anything negative or whatsoever, i just want the best for us, the "best" we all agree on..

But i guess you've lost faith in me.. we've been through so much but now you're literally throwing everything we once own away.. You're judging me with your eyes, from what you see..

You don't bother to confront me, as me, understand me, what more can i say?

you know I'm insensitive, I'm slow and stupid, then tell me, show me, don't just hide from me.. i don't want history to repeat itself..

Tell me where i went wrong, torturing this friendship won't do any of us any good..

"the promised you once made didn't last"

2009-02-04T19:11:00.002+08:00

arrgh............
it's so frustrating..
i can't just keep failing all the tests..
i need to do something.. desperately..

3 more days..
yay!

2009-02-01T21:12:00.002+08:00

really?
how can it be?
i vote no

and guitar so tiring!!!!
be i love it!! (:
i'm so excited for next week!!
i'm getting baptize!!
yay finally..
count-down!!!

confessions of a murderer

2009-01-30T23:11:00.000+08:00

i just killed a mosquito..
i feel bad..
that was the first i killed..
but there are like many these days..
go away you stupid mosquitoes!!!

how D hurt my thumb

2009-01-30T22:02:00.000+08:00

YAY!!!
i totally can't wait for guitar lessons tomorrow..
i've been waiting for it all week!!!!
and announcing to everyone that is willing to listen..
great that celeste feels the same way!!!!!!

Today when i was waiting for the bus at the bus stop after tuition, i noticed this couple, actually there wasn't anyone else except the couple and me, and i found out shortly that they're mute..
The male was pointing to this particular article on the newspaper and was doing really exaggerated actions which i think it's about a gun, shooting someone to death and... dying
i can also see that his wife was trying to tell him to chill but he was still rather angry..
It was a really interesting sight cause i don't get to see this kinda thing often and the guy really freaked me out when he did the "gun shot" and the "die" thing
Like he's totally against people with guns and stuff..
Maybe it's a kind of phobia..
kinda like euphobia...

yay!!! can't wait for guitar..
but it's like my fingers become numb cause i think it's the way i hold the guitar or the stress on the wrist..
whatever, face the music when i see the doc

2009-01-28T17:48:00.000+08:00

OMJ!!!!
Had a really nice dinner at wicky's house even though this lunar new year was totally horrible..
The fondue was... chocolaty.. very very heaty.. but it's great!!
although playing tennis on Wii was incredibly short, but i guess it's fun.. and weird because the controller was passed around with the stripe still around my wrist..
JiaRong was encouraging on the whole guitar thing.. i guess celeste and i were more confirm on what we really want..

mrs gan took my paper!!
and i haven't finish it yet..
arrgh!!! she REALLY loves the number 9..
i guess it's cause this year is 2009..
i was so nervous, using my chem book to cover my face, in fear, because she might just embarrass me in front of the class or comment about my not very fabulous handwriting..

i felt so bad..
i was sleeping in geog (for a few seconds) and i feel so bad!!
because mrs lim was totally nice and didn't throw me out of class or anything..
okay.. feel so bad..
should have slept in ss instead..
oh that reminds me that i'm so going to fail my ss test/quiz/whatever it's called..
i left like... 5 or 6 blanks?

clara was in school!!
and i was saying OH MY GOSH! so loudly laozi was like telling me the people from the other tables were laughing..

Olivia is so strong..
if i were in her position, every time it's mentioned, i'll cry..

2009-01-23T20:59:00.000+08:00

"an apple a day keeps the doctor away..
luckily i haven't see any cute ones yet"

YAY!!!!!!!!!
CLARA'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
like finally!!!!
I TOTALLY MISS HER..
can't wait to see her soon..i guess..
i asked her if i should quite drama and join contemporary dance..
But so far, she says no.. but i'm kinda a failure in drama so why should i waste my time there..
so yeah..

today wanted to get the finishing new year's clothing with laozi and her juniors..
waihan was trying to increase my self-confidence and it did kinda help.. i think..
but the brown-coloured thing is way ex..
i must remember to keep my shoulders down if not LZ will whack me..
so in the end, bought a pair of shorts at the shop clara got her skirt-jumpers..
cool!!!!!

then i was late for tuition and jiongle kept messaging me saying if i was going..
I SAID YES SO STOP IT! haha
then he said i really sounded sick.. and i kept playing with his badge..
it's so cool then he thought i wanted to eat it, again..

oh shuts.. i think i'm ill/sick..

2009-01-20T21:00:00.000+08:00

yes i do miss clara sim chiu yen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha can't wait to see you soon, clara!!!
hope you miss us as much.. but i bet you do!! haha i feel so self-praised..

arrgh so tired today..
class was suppose to end at 1540 but mrs lim let us off at 1530!!! and there was a long break..
yay!!!!she rocks..
but it is still.. like nothing because i have to stay back to do homework and wait for benedict to go to tuition..

btw..
stupid........................ stop being childish.. you're so stupid....
you bloody said that i can go..
now you say i can't..
Like what the hell are you doing?
you think playing with my feelings is very fun is it?
you don't know anything alright?
one day when we're all gone from you, you'll so freaking regret what you did..
breaking your promise and think i'll forgive and forget..
even if i forgive..
don't ever think i'll forget about the promises you broke..
the things you said but have yet to come true and i bet it'll never will...
because a person like you will never fulfil your promises..
so just stay out of my matters alright?!
you always think you're right but no..
you'll never be right..

2009-01-19T21:07:00.000+08:00

freak..
just stop acting please.

2009-01-16T22:42:00.000+08:00

Looking at the photos with clara sim in it.. taken before she left..
i officially miss her.. yay!!!!! she's coming back(:

blank phrase

2009-01-16T22:18:00.000+08:00

she don't understand..
she don't understand..
she don't understand..
and she'll never do..
she assumes she knows everything..
and it's hurting..
she thinks that i'm always playing..
even how hard i try.. even how hard i try to.. to be the 'perfect child' she always wanted..
but she will never be satisfied..
does she know that it's tiring? it's difficult?
That i'm very tired?
does she understands me?
does she know that i'm freaking tired of being someone she thinks i should be..
why is the whole world perfect and i'm not..
why am i always the one at fault..
doesn't she see?
i... i don't know what to say..

2009-01-14T19:58:00.000+08:00

downloading the newest version of msn..
Suen wants me to so yeah..
But actually is not much of a point since they have a "new version" like every time

tons of homework these days/ ever since school started..
there's also geog quiz today.. i guess i flunked the easiest geog test EVER..
Luckily there isn't ss.. if not another subject i'm going to flunk..
arrgh.. stupid.

TO CHARIS:
hey!!
Good luck with the audition!!!!
I'm sure you'll be able to get in..
If not, you'll sure have something else to back it up..
BTW, whatever happens, YOU STILL ROCK!!

2009-01-12T19:15:00.000+08:00

"I don't know if i'm up for it but i know i'm never going to try"

ARRGH!!!!
have to trouble for school work..
now drama/syf/sound/tech stuff..
The sound part may sound easy but it's NOT..
we have to think which song to put for what scene and the mood of the scene changes too fast!
so have to rack our brains and.. i don't know..
stress for all of us..
we're also busy with our stuff.. homework and all..
wrinkles!!

CCA DAY

2009-01-09T20:25:00.000+08:00

Today is cca day and i stayed in the blackbox when the sec ones came down..
Some were cute.. quite..
The two raffles girls came and eugene ng's sis came too.. vivian..
she doesn't look a bit like eugene.. he is so roudy but she's all sweet and smiles(:
so angelic.. haha

Stupid jiongle..
he thought i wanted to eat his school badge.. so dumb haha

YES!!!!
I thought i'll never be able to receive the message that would make me start to jump up and down and dance till i drop..

2009-01-08T16:32:00.000+08:00

I'm very very very tired.. exhausted..
The homework just come rushing in and the deadline is the next day..
Seems to me other class doesn't have much homework, only one or two pieces..
Mine could be equivalent to a mountain.. just exaggerating but it's still very tiring..
Ss is quite difficult..
I don't understand a thing the teacher is teaching/reading off the textbook/her notes..
I officially LOVE amath more than emath.. Emath SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My chinese teacher is like a BRIGHT STAR SHINNING ABOVE..
Thats what ben calls him 亮晶晶.. he said that the receptionist spelled his english surname wrongly so it became LIANG while his dad is LIAN..
(totally not father and son)
And he thinks 你石头(you rock) is scolding him..
I told him the english meaning but he mistaken it as you ROT..

I thought about it..
Math isn't that difficult after all..
the only reason why emath suck is because i don't exactly fancy the teacher..
Not that i fancy the amath teacher but just that he doesn't get on my nerves..

2009-01-05T22:14:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I'm so tired today!!
school ended at around 3.40 and mrs gan wanted to extend the lesson but luckily, someone else needs to use the class..

The tiredness isn't the kind where you're drop dead.. it's like half frustrated and the other half tired..
frustrated to have so many homework to pass up tmr..
arrgh!

*still rushing english..

2009-01-04T19:00:00.000+08:00

Are you like sure??
the other day was longer..
I just took it the other on saturday(yesterday) haha
but it was longer the other day..
seriously..
and MINGLI!!! you're right..
school sucks!!!!!!!!!!!

today went to see the guitars(acoustic) at yamaha..
the red one(which i've fallen for) it like 8 hundred+++
so sad but it's really nice!!!
guess i have to stick to the classical one for the time being..
aww..lunch was so.. nice..
alot of raw fish.. it's quite nice.. basically, it was boring..

2009-01-03T20:59:00.000+08:00

YES!!!
yes! I We did it!!
Celeste and i were so very shy at first to ask grace tan but celeste is much braver than i am..
she asked if we could learn guitar in church..
and she said shehas to find someone to teach.. which simply means: yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMJ!!!
It's almost unbelievable!!!!!!
haha so after that i started jumping up and down.. which is quite fun actually.. and weird (:
and i still can't get over the fact that "my skirt is short"

<- this is so NOT short.. come on..

FIRST DAY

2009-01-02T20:15:00.000+08:00

First day of school is.. it kinda sucks..
some of the boys look pretty weird..
I could barely recognise shawn pang..

the other form teacher thinks that my skirt is too short..
like really?? weird..
anyway the teachers are boring..
not alot of free period..
i almost slept during chapel and tuition..
i'm so tired.. i kept thinking about my bed.. and it made me more sleepy..

now cousin is at my house..
he made spaghetti actually my bro did and it's.. okay..
eating it with ketchup..
yay!(:

2009-01-01T20:19:00.000+08:00

2009-01-01T19:46:00.000+08:00

I went to aunty lilly's house yesterday to celebrate new year..
Bobo and i were singing to the songs on disney channel and channel 5.. at the top of our lungs..
The view of fireworks at her house is amazing!! but my photography skills isn't good at all so...
but i'm posting here because my phone doesn't have enough memory..

2008-12-29T19:32:00.000+08:00

I tried playing the guitar today..
My favourite chord - G major.. the sound is lovely..
D is okay but i have to move my hand.. and need to stretch my finger, i need to use my right hand to shift my finger..
It's like very numb now..
But nevermind, i ~~should be able~~ must get used to it..
I think my bro is used to it that's why he's didn't hurt and he can move his fingers fast..
I guess he's in a good mood anyway.. that's why he's willing to teach.. a little
(:(:(:

2008-12-28T16:46:00.000+08:00

"Beautiful, beautiful
Jesus is beautiful
And Jesus makes beautiful things of my life
Carefully touching me
Causing my eyes to see
Jesus makes beautiful things of my life"

yes, Jesus makes beautiful things of my life.. EXCEPT THAT BLOODY OLD HAG THAT RUINED MY HAIR AND MY LIFE
I cut my hair.. I should be happy.. But obviously I'm not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That bloody asshole ruined my hair, cut my bloody fringe super short..
Like bloody hell stupid old hag?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She didn't even ask me how short i want my fringe to be.. HELLOW?! newsflash, I'm NOT primary two??!! She still dare to ask em if it was short enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is my head my hair not her bloody useless and brainless one unless..
She totally ruined my life and me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(and my hair)
That bloody old hag of bones and a freaky life, she's not even "professional" like she admitted it herself..
Of course, when she was cutting my hair, she was chatting to someone else, totally oblivious to what she was cutting..
She is so going to regret for what she has done to me and my precious hair..
She totally trashed that hair salon's reputation..
She cut so fast my mum thought i didn't cut at all..
I asked her to cut more fringe coz it's all on the right side only then she say she can't..
like what the helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

ps i don't know how is she going to regret..
maybe her career will fail??
maybe the salon will fire her??
fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (:

tessa was freaked out by my dream and thought it would be a million-dollar video if she had video-taped my dream.. haha

Happy Birthay Zirui!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-24T16:13:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday Laozi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you better see this soon okay?? haha..

Merry christmas people!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-23T15:11:00.000+08:00

before the BBQ, had tech meeting in the library and it was pretty cold..
and as usual, we didn't do much work but we did do some homework instead.. (:

Before BBQ went to fairprice to get some frozen chicken and disposables with peishi jamos and his mum..
Took mrt to jamos' house and chopped garlic, i think but most probably is, with dorcas david and jamos..
brought the stuff down to the pit and it started to drizzle, but THANK GOD it stopped..
Kaiting Celeste and Charis came and we started to get down to work..
More people came and the first batch of food were cooked.. Not quite, the fishballs are nice, hotdogs coated in honey(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) chicken wings.....totally have room for improvement.. it's not THAT bad, really! (:
We even went to the jacuzzi pool to dip our legs in and took some pics but then was chased away by a guard..
Then we helped to barbecue some food and the beef is delicious with the sauce(I keep asking charis to take it cause i tried it already but she insisted i take it first, so kaiting ask us to take one each..) the salmon goes well with it too.. (:
I was kind enough to feed xingyi some of my salmon piece then grace was like uh...... then when he ask grace to take the last piece of salmon piece so he can put the metal grill down, grace went "I'm not going to feed you" haha so straightforward..
Kaiting and i walked around the pool, from the pit to the toilet to get tissue and realised that it was behind the dor..
Later celeste and charis had to leave so i went with them..
I think i dropped my clips there too ( hope someone picked it up).. on the train, charis told me some racist jokes .. haha it was funny even though it's not correct in a way, but come on, who cares??!!

celeste's still firm on her ground about that thing..
but WHYYYYYYYYYYY?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday Celeste!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-21T15:50:00.000+08:00

this is for you.. hope you like it(:
enjoy your birthday and see ya tmr..

2008-12-21T14:42:00.000+08:00

I lost my voice.. and gaining it back slowly..
It's bad cause i can't communicate and my mum doesn't understand any action i was doing so i had to type down whatever i wanna say which is super troublesome and the words are small for my mum that she needs to keep repeating the words over and over to get the message right..
2 nights ago my bro's voice sounded up the whole apartment and i had to just shut up ( jared said thats the fastest and best way to heal and get my voice back)..
MY bro also treated me like his doll and make me do funny faces so he can compare with his friends which he would like to call : ugly..
I think this year, i broke my personal record of times i lost my voice..

Yesterday:
I didn't sing, pray or talk during meeting.. It was only after that i tried to talk..
Went to Ang Mo Kio hub to get the stuff for the bbq with aloysius david dorcas eeshan and jamos.. after that, jamos' lace got stucked in the travelator and luckily it managed to pull it out but the whole thing stop because david pushed the emergency button..
the poor people pushing the trolley can't push it up.. haha
Then jamos and dorcas went home and left me with the others to get dinner aty the food court upstairs..
Compared to the others, i ate quite little and very slowly.. so they were like you eat very slow for very little food..
Asked aloysius to teach me the handphone thing then eeshan has a fater way to do so but must do it super fast - david and i can't get there using that method..
Then aloysius did something that got me so panic-key and said keep pressing any buttons..
but the way to get out is to : stop pressing the buttons!!!!!!
Not fair.. they told me to press..

Today:
I went for sunday meeting today..
Served and had lunch then washed toilet..
First time in history i was washing the toilet..
So mary washed the floor, tes washed the toilet cubical and i washed the sinks..
It was very fun.. haha
Guo Hong single-handedly washed the male toilet himself using the same time we washed it..
which means he's very efficient and us- nah..

2008-12-19T19:34:00.000+08:00

Went out with my brother to get/make his new specs at bugis..

rimless and it's quite weird because rimless is like not wearing a specs so i'm not used to it..

and he made me put on one and took a pic..

it doesn't look like me when i took a second look.. i look weird..

i am losing my voice..

now trying the cough/throat syrup, strepsils and loads of water..

must get my voice back asap.. i mean now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-18T21:43:00.000+08:00

Had hydro therapy today..
The exercises were very nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was so happy even though my hair was wet..
because i've been longing to dip my face into the water ever since so now when my hair is wet, i'm still pretty happy..
It's a little like swimming and it kinda reminded me the passion i used to have for swimming..
But the exercises were very tiring.. like pushing the noodles thing, that could be bought from TOY R US, into the water.. it is made to float so the resistance against the water is.. whoa..
Gotta push those made-to-float material weights into the water and keep my arms straight and swim freestyle(i absolutely hate that stroke).. as in only the legs.. it is nice but arrgh.. heavy..
Later i got dizzy, like really dizzy..
But gotta head to TOYS R US to get somethings special.. (:

2008-12-17T18:59:00.000+08:00

"I'm so cool i call myself a cool farmer!!!!!!!!!!!"
Haha my mum just gave me three of her jumpers and it look so cool..
And i look alot like a farmer in it..

Today at tuition, i just mentioned KK hospital then jiongle guessed that the only reason i'm going there is that i'm pregnant and needs to get the baby aborted..
He's so freaking dumb.. his so called "imagination' seriously 'amazes me'..haha
it's so stupid..

2008-12-13T22:37:00.001+08:00

Went to church today..
I left the house early because mummy can't wait for me to leave..
in the end, we ended up shooting sarcastic remarks at each other..

Had choco mint and MANGO sorbet at donut factory while kaiting ate 2 donuts..
Today is combine meeting because got the overseas saint..
It was really cool.. even though i don't understand thai..

Had dinner..
Yong tau fu.. tes said that it's too healthy.. haha

Had coffee and luck said tes and i shouldn't take chocolate for the sugar contain.. we were very high..haha
he's a suan-na (swan)
then tes got pissed..
luke's too naggy..